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Respecting Our Parents

March 30, 2018

 DISCLAIMER: This reminder was originally delivered in Arabic on this Friday. Any meanings lost in translation are not to be attributed to the speaker as reminders are translated by volunteers. The mosque has no official translator and volunteers often have no formal qualifications to translate on the day. Please forgive any errors as they are from our human weakness and any right guidance is from God.

Dear brothers and sisters

Today, we are kept occupied with life and entertained by distractions. All this results in us being too busy to fulfil the rights and obligations upon us. One of these rights that we have become too busy to properly fulfil is the rights of respecting and honouring our parents and being the best to them.

Islam teaches us to deal with anyone who treats us in a good manner in a similar way. Islam teaches us to aim for excellence in everything we do, and it does not like for us to abuse or do wrong by anyone or anything. The standard our religion has set for us is much higher and more noble than how most of us behave and live on a daily basis, giving a bad image and name to Islam in the process. This religion promotes and teaches us the best character and behaviours that human beings can have. It teaches us to show mercy and excellence in everything we do. But unfortunately, in today’s world very few people care.

Your parents have a favour over you that, after Allah (swt), cannot be compared to anything anyone else has done for you, and cannot be forgotten or denied except by someone who has no heart and no character. Allah (swt) compared gratitude to him with gratitude to your parents, in Surah Luqmaan:

And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. ”[ Luqmaan, 31:14]

So is there anyone who deserves more gratitude and has done more for you, after Allah (SWT), than your parents.

Allah (swt) joined between gratitude to your parents, and worshipping him alone and obeying him. He (SWT) said:

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small. Your Lord is most knowing of what is within yourselves. If you should be righteous [in intention] - then indeed He is ever, to the often returning [to Him], Forgiving”.

 So the rights of your parents upon you is great. What they have done for you cannot be valued with a price. Their value cannot be described in words or phrases. From the rights they have upon you is love and respect, honouring and listening to them, speaking to them in the best manner and listening to them. They have a right that you humble yourself before them. And , as Allah (swt) said, that you lower the wing of humility before them, by showing mercy and compassion and the best manners. Islam has made all of this from the most beloved deeds to Allah (swt). The Messenger (saw) said in an authentic Hadith:

The most beloved deeds to Allah is the prayer in its time, and then respecting your parents. “ [ Sahih Ibn Hibban]

 As for disrespecting and dishonouring your parents, this is everything which causes harm to your parents, in the form of speech or actions.  Everything that harms parents is disobedience to them, be it raising your voice, making a gesture with your hand, facial expressions. Allah (swt) said:

“ and do not even say uff to them”.

Meaning we are forbidden from anything as small as saying ooff , or smaller than may cause them harm.

So dear sons and daughter :

Beware of disrespecting your parents. This is one of the major sins. And is something that is haraam to the highest level and severity.It is narrated in Sahih Bukhari that the messenger (saw) said:

“ Should I inform you of the greatest of Major sins. Should I inform you of the greatest of Major sins. Should I inform you of the greatest of Major sins.  [The companions] We replied “ Yes O Messenger of Allah “, He (saw) said , “ Associating partners with Allah, and disrespecting parents. “ [ Sahih Bukhari ].

And he also said in another narration:

 “ Indeed Allah has forbidden you from disrespecting your mothers. “ [ Bukhari and Muslim ]

If for whatever reason a day comes where you are angry with them, or sick and tired of them, then remind yourself of your mother who carried you in her womb for 9 months, during weakness and difficulties , and she gave birth to you through the pain and suffering, coming close to death in the process. Then when she saw you by her side she forgot all the pain and suffering , and you become the source of joy and happiness in her life. Then she spent day and night looking after you and caring for you and feeding you. Your lived by her side. Your resting place was her hands and body. She went hungry while she made sure you ate. She stayed awake to ensure you slept.

As for your father he worked hard to provide for you. He protected you from difficulties and harm. He went hungry, so he could feed you. He played with you and nurtured you and taught you. He wanted success for you and to give you a good future.

Listen to the hadith of the messenger (saw) when he said:

 “ Indeed Allah advises you [ to honour] with regards to your mothers – 3 times, Indeed Allah advises you[ to honour]  with regards to your fathers – twice – Indeed Allah advises you [ to honour] to your next closest relative and then to your next closest relative." [ Ibn Majah, Al-Albani in Sahih Al-Jami’]

So respecting your parents – my dear brothers and sisters – is from the best actions that can bring you closer to Allah , and is one of the greatest acts of obedience to him. By honouring them mercy will descend and difficulties will be lifted. It is the key to all good and the lock for all evil. It is from the greatest ways to enter paradise and to be saved from the hellfire. Respecting and honouring your parents is a means to obtain more provision from Allah and to extend your life. It is a way to protect yourself from calamities and for your duas to be answered. This is because Allah (swt) has placed his happiness with the happiness of the parents. The Messenger (saw) said:

“ The happiness of the Lord is with the happiness of the parents. And the anger of the Lord is with the anger of the parents. “ [ Sunan At-Tirmidhi, Mustadrak Al-Hakim]

We ask Allah (swt) to make us the best to our parents. Ameen.